THROWBACK REVIEW: Kong: The Animated Series (2000-2001)

Hey kids, do you like Godzilla: The Animated Series? Ever wish to see it without the charm and likable characters? Was the decent action of Godzilla: The Animated Series too much for you, and do you wish it were toned down times ten? Do you like plot devices and technology that break every law of science I  the goddamn book? Then Kong: The Animated Series is just the show for you. What is it with all these atrocious King Kong cartoons? Can't one decent animator get Kong right? Is it asking that much to have a Kong cartoon that's slightly better than that animated musical?

If you can't already tell, I'm not at all a fan of this cartoon series I've just watched a good chunk of. Because it makes no sense. I like to think I follow Hodgson's Law pretty well. There are times I need to remind myself, that whatever I'm watching is just a show or movie, and I should really just relax. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't really affect my critical analysis so much, but when it comes to certain nitpicks and technical details that some people can raise hell over, I tend not to care. This is true in particular to the Star Trek fandom I'm a part of. But if there was ever one show, that made me want to throw Hodgson's Law right out the window... this is that show. Because I'm wondering if the writers themselves bothered to take a double take on their absolutely ridiculous concepts. There is very little holding this show up for me.

You can tell the show was trying to compete with Godzilla: The Animated Series. It focuses on this small group of humans who team up with King Kong's...clone....yes, clone... as they fight giant monsters, usually controlled by this really generic villain. But if that's not enough, the show felt the need to rip off God knows how many other shows. Like Dragonball Z apparently.  I've heard song comparing fusion dances or something to this show. I don't know, I could care less about Dragonball. What I do care about is how dumb the concept is. How do I explain it?  After Kong's demise in 1933 atop the Empire State Building, a young scientist managed to preserve Kong's DNA so that later on she could create a clone of him........ (annoyed grunt)

Let me run that by you again. A scientist... in 1933... preserves Kong for the sake of cloning. Was that even... possible back then? Was the technology of 1933, REALLY so far along that preserving DNA for future cloning was really that conceivable? How does she fund such a project? Why does she do this? Why is my brain already hurting from think about this? We have our generic villain of a professor, who's seeking these things called Primal Stones, as each possess incredible power and he of course wants it. So alongside ripping off Godzilla, and Dragonball... they apparently decided to throw in some Jackie Chan Adventures as well, because these Primal Stones just remind me of the Twelve Talismans of the Chinese Zodiac. And they're also connected with ANOTHER big bad villain I  this demon god character. Seriously, what is this? What. Is. This? This is one of the most convoluted shows I've ever seen. It's almost as if its trying too hard to be cool. It's not working. If you want a big bad demon character, fine. But is it necessary to introduce him so early on, especially if you already have a main baddie? Just do your ripoff talisman hunt plot, and begin your gargoyles ripoff story later. Don't do it all at once, it just convolutes your story! It's a giant mess!

If the ridiculous concept didn't make you change your channel, these characters most certainly do. These are some of the blandest characters I've ever seen. There's Jason. He's your hero character. That's all. There's his buddy Eric. He's a big doofus that likes pineapple pizza. That's all. There's Lua. She's a tough girl native shaman who's pretty much of with nature. And that is all. Do you see where I'm going? All of these characters are obvious cutouts. If you compare them to the characters of Godzilla: The Animated Series, you can immediately see a difference. I'm not gonna pretend that show is perfect, because it's not, but each character actually has a bit of development. And they have ways of standing out. Even the weaker characters of that show have more going for them than anyone here. Liking pineapple pizza is not something that makes your character unique. And then there's our generic bad guy. Who you can tell is bad from the first moment you see him. He is evil. He does things because he's evil. And that is... say it with me now...ALL! I'm not going to beat this dead horse any longer. You get the idea. These characters are atrocious.

And the action. Good God the action. Watch an episode of this show, then watch an episode of Godzilla, and tell me which is more satisfying. I'm not trying to make this review of big comparison to its Godzilla counterpart, but for as silly as that show can be, it actually has a lot of very fun action. The monster brawls are great. I love watching Godzilla (or Zilla Jr.  for all you purists out there) grab monsters by the head and drag them underwater. I love watching him analyze his foes and really look for a weakness. I loved how he'll often finish them off with an atomic fire breath to the head. It's a lot of fun! So... what does this show have? We'll make a quick comparison, the very first monster Kong faces is a T-Rex. Okay, good so far. The fight lasts a few seconds, and all Kong does is twist the neck a bit. (Facedesk) I wish I could say it gets better, but it really doesn't. It doesn't get worse, but each opponent Kong faces is so generic, so forgettable, so not very fun, that I never have much fun watching it. And the fighting is no better. 

Speaking of Kong, he looks hideous. I understand they had to keep him kid friendly and all, but he doesn't look so very good to me. And he sounds even worse. His grunts and roars will grow on you. Very fast. You can tell Scott McNeil is just literally saying "ROAR" in the microphone. And I've yet to tear apart the one thing I utterly hate this show over. The merger sequence. This is that Dragonball element I was mentioning earlier. Apparently, Jason's grandmother (the scientist who cloned Kong) invented this device in which one could merge themselves with an animal. Its really just a pitiful excuse to give Kong some power in the show when he's struggling, and an excuse to give him opponents from the professor. The thing is, this thing is never explained how it works. And it breaks way way WAY too many laws of science for me to buy it. For example, when Jason merges with Kong, Kong virtually remains the same height and appearance. But whenever the professor merges with any random animal like say a rat, the rat is suddenly as big as Kong with a monstrous appearance. How does it get that big? Why does it look as such? None of this is explained. And that's not the worst of it. Apparently, Jason can have Kong merge with him, making him easier to travel with. Like...Kong merges with Jason. Who remains the same height and appearance. That's right...Kong is now pocket sized. Breaking every law of mass in the book. With ZERO EXPLANATION.

I can't take it. I just can't take it. I've tried looking for something to enjoy. To thoroughly enjoy. I just can't seem to find it. Nothing makes any sense. What makes even less sense was how this show lasted longer than Godzilla did. I'm not good pretend that show was the best, but it was a lot of fun while it lasted. This got two seasons... And TWO DVD feature films. How did this happen? How did it manage that? I spent roughly 8 hours of my life, watching this horrible show, and the only thing I found? It gives me an unintentional laugh now and then. There's your bright side. The one thing worth mentioning as good. Fuck this show.

Kong: The Animated Series is a half star rating out of four. It's beyond dull. The characters are bland. The action is bland. The animation is incredibly bland. Even the few concepts that I found kinda interesting failed to hold up any potential. How do you mess up this badly? I don't know what they needed to do to make this ridiculous show work to their advantage, but one thing's for certain, I'm never looking at it again. It's just not worth my time. Don't try and get me to watch the rest. My patience only goes so far.

Please feel free to request any films you'd like me to look into in the near future. Leave a comment down below expressing your own thoughts about the show below, and as always, thanks for reading.

I'm almost done. Next week will be the final week of the Kong-a-thon.  Praise the Lord. I'm hoping to be reviewing, not one, but TWO movies next week. And we start it off with one of the absolute best remakes a film can hope to get. See you Monday when I review the 2005 Peter Jackson remake of King Kong.

Final Verdict: 0.5/4

THROWBACK REVIEW: The Mighty Kong (1998)

What on earth did I just watch? I'm not sure it was real, because prior to watching this, I made myself quite the cocktail, and I found myself laughing at this film more than I likely should have. Just listen to this concept and just see if it interests you in the slightest. King Kong, released as an animated musical, starring Jodi Benson, more commonly known as the voice of Ariel in Disney's "The Little Mermaid". I'll be completely honest, I once saw this as a kid, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't remember when that was, maybe it was 1998. I really don't know. All that you need to know, is that watching it roughly two decades later? How I ever found it entertaining, I'll never know. I think a lot of us think that at some point in our lives.

That's not to say Mighty Kong is terrible, but it's certainly not good. There are a few things I actually found I kinda liked, but yeah, on a whole, this one really isn't that great. At only 72 minutes in length, it compresses the story of Kong, and a lot of the exciting parts of that story are merely glanced over, while a bunch of pointless stuff is included. One thing that immediately comes to mind is the dinosaurs. They're barely shown in this. And the fights are not that impressive. I mean...that's practically a Kong staple for me. But on the note of Kong, I ironically found him to be surprisingly absent in this film. Even when he's on screen, he's just not that impressive. This could be the fact that by the time we see him, likely half of the movie is done, and whatnot, but when he's tromping around New York City, there's just not a lot of fun in it. He just kinda looks blank in the face. It sucks the energy right out of the story.

The characters don't exactly help out here. They're pretty terrible. The only two even memorable are Denham and Darrow, voiced by Dudley Moore and of course, Jodi Benson. Jack Driscoll is in the film, but he's not. If you thought there was no way the wooden acting and surprisingly sudden romance between him and Darrow couldn't be anymore wooden and sudden than the original, just wait until you see this. At least in the original, the two spent some time talking and bantering back and forth before they found out they loved each other. Here, Driscoll just kinda constantly insults her, to the point of her becoming infuriated with him, but one song later, they're in love. But they don't even really explore that too much. And honestly, the only reason I remember Denham in this movie is because of his strange accent. He almost talks straight up like William Shatner at times. That and he's almost always smiling in this movie. Oh and there's these two completely pointless characters in the movie in this cabin boy and his pet monkey who contribute nothing in this film at all. They're there to be a supposed comedy relief, but they're not funny, and they're not charming. They're entirely pointless.

I guess I can't talk about a musical without addressing the music, so how is it? Well like the movie, it's not terrible, but it's certainly not good. It's listenable. That's about it. Some of it really doesn't need to be there. Some of it is just forced. One song that I actually kinda dug was a song that didn't need to be there, but was kinda fun just for the sake of being fun. Denham is doing his test camera shots of Darrow, and he's explaining a scene in which she's this island princess. The song has nothing to do with the story, it's just a fun detour from the story. But one thing that caught my eye was the fact that during this little sequence, they show Darrow jumping from a cliff into the sea, and the animation becomes incredibly similar to that of Ariel from Little Mermaid. The way the hair forays in the water, the way she keeps singing in the water, even the facial expressions... all this for a character Jodi Benson voices. There's no way that can be a coincidence. Maybe it's the movies strange way of saying I could be watching Little Mermaid right now. Something I actually really like.

Honestly, again I know I'm being a bit critical here, especially of a kids movie only 72 minutes long, but the movie does have a few strengths. One of them being that it kinda takes notes from both the original, and the 1976 remake. It mainly bases its film off 1933, but it actually directly mirrors a scene from 1976 when Kong takes Darrow to a waterfall to wash her. Unfortunately, the bond between Darrow and Kong isn't really developed, and Darrow is paved more into the frightened damsel category, rather than the tamer of the beast. They also have some fun with the iconic climax, even if it's rather silly at times. Like they have some silly clichés involving Darrow hanging onto the Empire State Building for dear life before she's caught by Driscoll. Another thing I kinda like is that they play with the net idea from 1976 with these huge zeppelins, which make Kong lose balance and fall off the building...and true to the kid friendly status of the film, they have Kong survive his fall. And strangely enough...everyone is kinda cheering when they see he survives. It's very weird.

You know, I know this movie is really dumb and stupid. At times, pretty bad. The animation isn't spectacular, the characters are pretty bland, as is the music and action of the film, it falls in that forgettable territory alongside Son of Kong and King Kong Escapes for me. But at the same time, I can't help but laugh at some of the things they did with this film with how stupid it got. It's balancing perfectly on that so bad that it's good line. Such is something I found completely absent in say...King Kong Lives. So you know what? You're gonna get by a bit easy today movie. I'm feeling generous.

The Mighty Kong gets a one and a half star rating from me. Again, this is by no means good. But there are a lot of fun things about this little direct-to-video release that made me watching this all these years later kinda...relaxed towards I guess. I wasn't joking when I aid it couldn't get worse than King Kong Lives, which I still haven't really forgiven. The limited defense I've heard towards it isn't exactly something I'll debate too much. This film...which was shorter and on a limited budget, much lower than the $10 million budget King Kong Lives had gave me more to enjoy. So if you were morbidly curious, found this at your local goodwill or whatnot? Hey...you might enjoy a single viewing. Make yourself a drink, and just sit back and enjoy how silly stupid this is. Because ironically enough...this may be the best animated portrayal of Kong you'll ever see.

Please feel free to request any film you'd like me to take a look at. Leave a comment down below expressing your own thoughts and feelings about the film, and as always, thanks for reading.

Join me next week when I tackle the first thirteen episodes of....Kong: The Animated Series.  The things I do...

Final Verdict: 1.5/4

THROWBACK REVIEW: Balto

My childhood was full of movies I can point out by name, each one having a bit of a special place in my heart.  Balto...was not in my childhood. Nope, Balto kinda came into my film collection about twenty years after its release. And I didn't even know it existed until a friend I have drew some art of it. I didn't really know anything about it, but finding it for about five dollars at Walmart?  I decided to check it out. So...what do I think of this movie? Well....I like it.  But let's just say it's got it's fair share of flaws.  But the pros outweigh the cons.  It's a simple story, that is stronger than I probably give it credit for. When an outbreak of diphtheria breaks out in the small town of Nome, Alaska, it's up to a team of dogs on a dogsled team to rush essential medicine to the town when extreme weather prevents other methods of delivery.  Based on the real serum run that occurred in 1925, the movie does a fun job of giving its own elements of story to make it a fun movie to stand out on its own, and that's a good thing as historically speaking, this movie isn't accurate at all. 

So how does the film hold up? I guess the first thing that I notice about this film that I don't particularly care for, is the amount of filler that this film can have.  Particularly between Balto, and the secondary character Boris.  While it can provide for some silly moments that I'll admit made me chuckle, they ultimately serve no purpose to the story.  And it doesn't help that in the beginning of the movie, there's a scene on a ship with the two that lasts three to five minutes which is just completely filler. We understand that Balto is a little down that the other dogs harass him, but was the sequence of Boris doing...dog-things needed?  Or dancing?  It's just little sequences like this that kinda make this film slightly tedious to watch at times.  Those two polar bears don't exactly help the situation either. They serve only, and I mean only as comedy relief that is very hit or miss...and it misses most of the time. 

Another thing I don't particularly care for is the clichéd, and kinda forgettable villain in Steele. Now I understand that for this movie to likely have worked, some sort of conflict was likely needed, which meant transforming Balto into a hybrid of dog and wolf breed, that the other dogs don't exactly look favorably upon.  In a way, it actually gives off a similar, but more subtle message of acceptance in ways that Zootopia did, and we all know how much I loved that movie. But with Steele and some of the other dogs as well, the dialogue that is spoken is just silly.  There are scenes that aren't necessary where Balto is just bullied by these dogs.  And you can't help but wonder why these scenes were included when half the time, most of the dogs do a 180 and start talking about Steele behind his back. It kinda kills the message they're trying to convey because half the time you don't even know who's side the dogs are on. You'll also notice how I haven't mentioned their names, and that's because of the animal characters, I can name four off the top of my head. You have Baltor, his romantic interest Jenna, the Russian goose Boris, and the villain/jock dog Steele. Every other animal in this movie is entirely forgettable.

But when you are over the things this movie doesn't really get right, the movie is actually a very fun movie. Though limited, there is some action in this movie that not only is tense to watch, it's on the borderline of brutal. In fact I can't help bit feel that the central human dog musher and a few other dogs should have died in a few scenes (kids movie I guess). The animation of this film can be near flawless at times, with certain stances, or sequences that look damn near real. One sequence that immediately comes to mind is when Balto is fighting a bear about midway through the movie. Of course a bear has the upper hand, but watching the bear pressing down on his body into the snow, squeezing the life out of him, and seeing him so helpless in that situation is actually depicted incredibly well. It's these little things that make Balto one heck of a visual experience. Off the top of my head, I cannot think of one disappointing scene visually.  Even the Polar Bears, who seem a bit more....fluid than they should be are animated well enough to the point that I can't dock points for that. 

One thing I also found very surprising was just how dark this film could be. While it's not the first time we've seen a children's story in which someone was on the verge of dying, most films by Disney and other kids stories are pretty tame on the subject of death, especially when it comes to the deaths of younger characters. Yet in this movie, all sorts of children are on their deathbeds and lay helpless with their sickness, and we even see a scene of an adult building several child-sized coffins. The first time I saw that, it took me by surprise. Not too many films have guts like that. Now granted no one dies, but imagery like that can hit home with me in more ways than one. 

Another good thing I'll say about the film is the films subtle, yet central message of accepting who you are inside. While we see Balto ashamed to be a wolfbreed of dog, in the film, especially towards the end, he embraces that other side and uses it to the best of his advantage. But the film isn't in your face about it. It's just kinda nursing at you with this message, and I actually kinda like it that way. When Balto has that sense of acceptance, and does everything to get the medicine home, it can be a very powerful scene, combined with already gorgeous animation. As far as storytelling is concerned, it's got plenty of clichés that have been done a thousand times, such as the jerky villain getting left in the cold when the hero comes home, but by the time the hero returns, and the day is saved, you get a most happy feeling, and we even see the verbal human character as a grandmother, remembering Balto. While not the best scene ever written, it is good for the movie, and leaves you with a smile on your face. 

Balto is a solid three star rating out of four. Though I didn't grow up with it, it's safe to say that watching Balto, I could see why it had an audience, and I'm glad to be part of that audience. Despite the flaws in storytelling and character it can have, when it his the target, it can be one of the most fluid films I can think of in animation. The fast racing, the occasional action, and dramatic shots carry this film in ways no other film can. And even when it's off target, there's always something redeeming to find that will keep your interest. Pity I can't say the same for the bad sequels that would follow this movie. So if you're in the mood for a fun film in animation, and you can find this little gem? Give it a watch. Guaranteed you'll find something you'll like. 

Please feel free to request any movie you'd like to see me review. Leave a comment down below telling me of your own thoughts or feelings on this movie, and as always, thanks for reading. 

Final Verdict: 3/4

THROWBACK REVIEW: Pokémon: Mewtwo Strikes Back

Twenty years ago, a franchise emerged in Japan that would impact, mold, and shape culture that we grew up in, particularly if you were what we like to call, a 90's kid. Ah, the 90's, the time of butt-scooters, Wonderballs, and weird dance music (hey at least I can go to my Alice in Chains or Pantera if I'm not in the mood for Fatboy Slim). Growing up in this little time Era was a lot of fun. Yeah, maybe for a time, the movies weren't exactly the best, but you know what, it was still a lot of fun. And there are certain things that were done back then that I wish were done today, particularly that of kids animation. I've long praised Kids WB, as it was my go-to channel for everything cartoon after school, and Saturday Morning. And it was the birthplace for Pokémon Fever in the United States. If you were a kid,  you were hooked. If you were older, you just had to deal with it.  I was a fanatic. The game, the cards, the books, and the show. I loved it all. And you can bet that once I heard about the movie, I was gonna go see it.

The hype behind this movie if you were a kid may as well be compared to that of a new Star Wars movie. The advertising, these weird collectable cards you could collect, the endless...and I do mean endless trips to Burger King, who had all 150 Pokémon toys in their kids meals...it was every definition of an early Christmas. I went into that theater with my friend, my dad (who I feel sorry for), and sat myself down, ready to indulge in nonstop action, fun battles, and just immerse myself, wondering what exactly it was like to be in the shoes of a trainer called Ash Ketchum.

Yeah...it's hard to imagine that was only 18 or 20 years ago.  Regardless of whether you like it or not, no one can deny the impact that Pokémon has had on pop culture, for better or for worse. It's not nearly as big as it once was, but you know what? It doesn't need to be. It was big for us, and that was what mattered. And so to celebrate 20 iconic years, I'm going to sit through each and every Pokémon movie that was ever made, and I'm going to give my thoughts in a review. Strap yourselves in guys, this will be a tough one. It's not that they're terrible, it's just that I'm going into this with the mindset of both an old fan, and a critic. And the fact that there's 18 of these damn things right now...and they aren't slowing down either. What can you do? So I hope you'll join me as I go through a marathon of Pokémon movies as I look back on my childhood, and see if the movies still hold any life.

Please note that I will only be reviewing the feature pictures themselves. That means the shorts that occasionally came before them, like Pikachu's Vacation will not be reviewed. So...what are my thoughts on Mewtwo Strikes Back?

Whether it's for nostalgic reasons or whatnot, This tends to be the film that most Pokéfans regard as the best, or like talking about the most.  And you know, for their first attempt at filmdom, it's not half bad. In fact a lot of it is surprisingly still pretty dark for the franchise. Particularly the opening segments revolving Mewtwo's birth, and rampages in which Mewtwo kinda just...kills a large number of scientists. And that's not even the only death in this movie.  When Mewtwo is conjuring up this storm, there's a trainer flying across the sea on their Fearow (God help me for remembering all these names), and they doesn't make it to the island...did they drown?

Now there are a few moments I found myself laughing at watching this again.  Particularly regarding the legends of Pokémon tears and whatnot...which serve as absolutely nothing more as a hint as to why the silly revival of Ash Ketchum at the end makes sense...oh by the way Ash kinda dies too. I'd say spoiler alert, but if you haven't seen this movie by now that's your own fault.  However another thing that kinda gets me is the missing Nurse Joy plot.  Throughout the series, we are led to believe that Nurse Joy is part of a very large...identical family of numerous cousins, sisters, sister-in-laws, etc etc etc...yet one Nurse disappears for one month, and they shut down the Pokémon Center she's a part of? Couldn't transfer another employee temporarily at all?  I'm certain they got someone laying around...

Team Rocket...While we'll get to their roles in these movies, they ironically have their biggest role in this film if you ask me, in which they have...albeit very small character development, but seeing how Mewtwo erases everybody's memory at the end of the film, I guess it's pretty much pointless. Though the fact that this is actually one of the few instances in which our heroes mingle with Team Rocket, and they don't just serve as background fodder for the film. Though the Vikings thing? "They mostly live in Minnesota!" ....har har har....come on. I don't think even our heroes can be that incompetent. Oh who am I kidding?

I may be nitpicking a lot here, but as far as whether or not I like this film...well I do.  You can say there's a nostalgia factor here, but for the most part, the story is competent enough, and I gotta say that the origins of Mewtwo in this film are some of the best storytelling elements of the franchise. It's also worth noting that the debate over who is more powerful between Mew and Mewtwo remains undetermined, and an iconic debate in the fandom...though future films will kinda glorify Mew. And there are some legit jokes that keep me chuckling, like when James verbally asks "Who's that Pokémon?" And the change that Mewtwo goes through in this film, from a raging angry Pokémon, hellbent on purging the world to a more understanding Pokémon towards the end is something that the fandom still holds in high respect. The message for the younger viewer is solid and understandable.  And some of the sound effects I gotta say...they sound like they came straight out of Star Wars. Pretty cool.

Factor in the classic action of Pokémon in battle, and an actually pretty cool musical score, and you got a fun movie that remains a solid favorite and steady movie amongst the franchise.  Maybe some don't like or understand it...but hey...I guess it only makes us like it a little more. All this factored in...I'm gonna go ahead and jump to the final verdict.

Mewtwo Strikes Back earns a three star rating out of four.  Despite some silly aspects, and black and white morals, and character problems, the story is still fun, the action is still pretty impressive to watch, and the message is still regarded as one of the franchise's finer messages it's ever attempted. If you're a fan, and you've not seen this film, it's a must see.  And though for a while, it was out of print and hard to find recently it's found its way back onto the shelf, even if the new cover isn't at all as cool as the old...but that's not too much a factor in the movie itself.  

Well...thanks for reading my thoughts on Mewtwo Strikes Back, I'll return next week to talk about movie two, while I search for the rest of the movies I need, and try to write some stronger reviews (I found myself slightly distracted on this one).  Please feel free to suggest any movie you'd personally like me to take a look at in the near future.  Leave a comment down below, discussing your own thoughts on the film, and as always, thanks for reading. 

Final Verdict: 3/4

THROWBACK REVIEW: Jackie Chan Adventures (Season One)

I loved growing up in the 90's.  Say what you want, but I firmly believe that some of the strongest cartoons out there formed in this little era.  I mean yeah, a lot of them were silly, pointless, and whatnot, but if you ask me, the late 90's and early 2000's house some of the best cartoons out there.  You can argue that cartoons that came out in the early 2000's shouldn't really be considered for the 90's generation, but I make a few exceptions as I wasn't in high school until about 2005.  But before those high school years, there was only one place I went for my cartoon doses.  And a lot of you with me in the 90's nostalgia will immediately agree with me.  Kids WB.  If you had Kids WB, your life was set.  Since I didn't have cable, I didn't grow up with Cartoon Network, but I didn't care.  Everyday after school, it was rush down to the television to see what Kids WB had going on, every Saturday Morning, it was Kids WB.  No FOX Kids, no ABC One Saturday Morning, it was all about the Kids WB.  Everything cool was on there.  Batman Beyond, Static Shock, Animaniacs, Batman Superman Adventures, Men in Black, The Zeta Project, Hysteria, Detention, do I need to go on?  I could go on and on listing some of the shows I loved watching.  Hell, it was where Pokémon Fever started in the US.  I didn't need Toonami!  In fact, Toonami moved to Kids WB for a while!  Why wouldn't they? Kids WB was on top of the world!  The WOOOOOOORRRRLD!!!!

But I will give praise to Kids WB probably another day.  For now, I'm just gonna focus on a show that I didn't think I would enjoy so much when it was introduced...and yet it surprised me.  I say that I didn't think I'd enjoy it, because the title character was a guy I wasn't too familiar with.  It was something more my nextdoor neighbor childhood friend loved, as he was into the martial arts and whatnot.  In fact, he still looks up to Jackie Chan as a bit of a life idol.  And who can blame him?  Back in the day, Jackie Chan was arguably the world's most famous stuntman.  Capable of doing insane stunts regardless of how difficult it looked, and of course, those fast fists were always exciting to watch.  He's become one of my favorite people to watch on screen.  So when it was announced on Kids WB that a new show, simply entitled Jackie Chan Adventures was coming soon, I'm sure a lot of people were excited.  Why wouldn't they be?  Jackie Chan in real life is awesome enough to watch, but as a cartoon?  The sky was the limit.  My only concern though would have been that Jackie Chan was the star of a lot of Kung-fu movies.  ANd while each is entertaining in and of itself, a lot of them are pretty dumb and forgettable movies.  In fact, there's only a handful of them that I really enjoy and would watch again. So how could they make Jackie Chan Adventures something that would make me want to come and watch it again?  Well...they did.  Because even today, I think Jackie Chan Adventures is one of the best cartoons out there.  It had a five season runtime, but I am gonna stick to the first season for now.  Maybe another day, I'll give the other seasons a review, but let's just stick to season one for now.

The show stars the titular Jackie Chan, a rather talented "amateur" archeologist, who lives with his...uncle named Uncle.  This is actually one of the show's biggest and most subtle joke.  Never is he referred to as any other name.  He's just Uncle.  Jackie's niece, Jade, even brings this up in season two, when her parents call him Uncle, when she asks "Is Uncle everyone's uncle?" to which they respond "He's actually our cousin...aren't you?" It's a subtle joke that is all around humorous.  Jade plays Jackie's niece, who is voiced ironically enough by Stacie Chan (though she is not related to Jackie Chan). And while I'm on the subject of voice actors, one thing that some people will complain about the show is that the titular character, Jackie Chan is not voiced by Jackie Chan himself.  Instead, Jackie Chan appears in short live action bits at the end of the show, where he answers questions that kids who watched the show would ask him, and would serve as the show's executive producer.  Honestly, the fact that Chan doesn't voice himself sits perfectly fine with me because if you've ever seen a movie with Jackie Chan, you will notice that he's not the best speaker of English.  It made sense for someone more clear in the language to voice the main character, it made it easier for kids to understand.  And strangely enough, it actually is a pretty dang good impersonation. So while some might find it annoying, I think it was one of the better moves. Anyway, back on track, Jade is the sidekick who always follows Jackie when he's off to collect an important artifact, or investigate something potentially dangerous, despite being told to stay where she is.  She's a thrill seeker, who is very much impressed by what her Uncle does off the record as an archeologist. And that pretty much covers the bases for our main characters.  

Jackie is recruited by a secret branch of government known as Section 13 for his knowledge in archeology.  Section 13, led by a man named Captain Black, is in charge of monitoring all major criminal activities in America, primarily those run by an organization called the Dark Hand.  Black informs Jackie that the Dark Hand recently began targeting historical artifacts, and they are hoping Jackie can help them find reasons to this.  The Dark Hand is one of the coolest things of the show.  You can argue that they're the clichéd villains who are always in over their head, but the show almost seems to just make fun of that.  The organization primarily follows three elite henchmen named Finn (a man who is all about the cool), Ratso (a buff, tough, yet innocent at heart guy), and Chow (who is a bit of a wise-guy).  In season one, they also had the large, big, and lovable Tohru as one of the main enforcers of the Dark Hand, though he would pull the classic bad guy gone good card in due time.  The boss of the group is a man named Valmont, who is your typical criminal mastermind, though he can be a bit incompetent at times, yet just as threatening when he needs to be.

We learn in the first couple episodes that the Dark Hand is after twelve Talismans, which supposedly have an incredible power.  The pacing of this is pretty impressive.  For a while in the show, you'll be scratching your head wondering if the Talisman's are just "supposedly" magic, or really magic at all. In fact the pacing of magic of this show is just all around fun.  The character Uncle for example, mainly starts out in the show as comedy relief, and kinda just a silly character.  But as the show progresses, it's revealed that he was actually the student of a powerful Chi Wizard, and as silly as that sounds, he actually becomes one of the most loved characters of the show.  Here, when each Talisman reveals just how much power they have, it's almost always satisfying to see.  Each Talisman is named after an animal in the Chinese Zodiac, and each one wields a different power.  Whether it's the ability to wield telekinesis, or travel super fast, or produce an explosive combustion blast, there is nearly always something cool in the Talisman lineup, though there are a few which seem relatively simple (which is again made fun of in season two, when Finn gets the three talismans which have "all the loser powers").  And each episode of season one is dedicated to a specific talisman, in which Jackie Chan races the Dark Hand to find.  While Jackie is kept in the dark as to why the Dark Hand wants all twelve Talismans, it is revealed to us that the Dark Hand is collecting them for a demonic sorcerer trapped in a statue form named Shendu, who would become one of the show's bigger antagonists.  Giving him all twelve would free him from his prison, and they would be rewarded with a large portion of treasure.

The episode format is pretty simple, and it can be said that each episode of each season follows a certain formula.  That formula may be altered slightly with each passing season, but for the most part, Season One follows this simple formula.  Jackie finds a talisman, Uncle does research on said Talisman, the Dark Hand tries to get it, they might get it for a certain amount of time, Jackie goes to get the Talisman back, Jade tags along, they discover the magic of the Talisman, and give the Dark Hand what's coming to them.  For as repetitive as the formula is, the show does an impressive job of keeping it fresh.  You don't get bored watching these episodes.  Each episode presents different problems, different outcomes, and there are times when the Dark Hand wins. Heck, by the season finale, Shendu is of course resurrected when the Dark Hand acquires all twelve Talismans in one of the coolest ideas I've seen.  

Let's talk about the action.  It's easily the best thing about the show.  As over the top as it can get, it's beyond fun to watch.  And the show isn't afraid of pushing that over-the-top action, to the point where it makes fun of itself.  It does this in the first episode, when Jackie fights the Dark Hand thugs for the first time.  He's outnumbered three to one, his opponents have technologically advanced weaponry, and Jackie fights them off with fists and windshield wipers.  Valmont simply says "Three of my best men, armed with advanced weaponry, were defeated by an archeologist?" To which Finn replies, "Uh, did we mention he had windshield wipers?" It doesn't stop there.  It will push your limits of believability in some of the funniest ways I know.  Another prime example is when the Dark Hand blows up a bridge, when the train Jackie is on is bound right for it.  Anybody else would probably die.  Jackie?  He runs up a falling train on top of the cars, as the Dark Hand look on in absolute disbelief, before Jackie just barely makes it off the train as it falls into the gorge below, and Ratso delivers one of my favorite lines "No way he's human." Go Jackie.  But for as fun as all the action is, I gotta say I am honestly kinda disappointed in the season finale, because the final fight between Jackie and Shendu is honestly, underwhelming.  I mean yeah, it's still a fun fight in which Jackie is magically enhanced to remove the Talismans one by one from the walking breathing Shendu, who is preparing for a rampage that will destroy Asia.  But it is kinda clunky, and it keeps cutting away to the agents and Uncle who keeps delivering his famous "Magic must defeat magic" line.  I think it could have gone a little longer, but it's still a satisfying way to end the first season, and it does give us a satisfying way of showing us what we may be in for in Season Two.

The Talisman Hunts of Season One were arguably the strongest story arcs of this show, and one hell of a way to start a show that I love to this day.  Season Two was still pretty good, but there are some gripings that one day I will get to.  Season three was still enjoyable though it kinda recycled season one.  But afterwards, you could see the show starting to get a little tiresome, so I guess it's a good thing it didn't last too long. But for what this show was, it was more than impressive.  It was one of those shows that I couldn't miss after I got introduced to it.  A world with fun martial arts fighting, with almost just the right amount of supernatural in it to make it one very fun adventure.  Heck, in Season Two, there are episodes that I highly regard.  One is a two part episode, which honestly I feel should have been made into an entire season, in which Shendu possesses Jackie Chan's body to find a magic book that alters history.  It's a story that is beyond fun to watch, but deserved more than just two episodes.  Season two also revisited Season one for us by giving us a few adventures that take place in the Talisman Hunt, which are not only fun to watch, but one of them is probably one of my all-time favorite episodes of the show.  There was so much that this show had to offer, and even if it wasn't always serious in itself, it was always lighthearted fun and always left you on a high, wanting to pull off the moves that Jackie Chan could, and fight off evil demons or street thugs as he did.  And if you're one of those fans of Chan's work, there are several references to the film work that Chan is famous for.  And to all of you anime fans out there, the influence it takes from a lot of anime can be seen.

Jackie Chan Adventures Season One is a wonderful three and a half stars out of four. Sure there may be some clichés and whatnot in the show, but it doesn't detract from any enjoyability it has to offer.  The characters may not be as developed as I would have liked, but each are fun and memorable in their own ways that other characters from other shows are not.  If you didn't get a chance to see this show, I'd highly recommend it.  You can catch the first and second seasons of the show for free on Crackle, or just stream them on other cartoon sites.  Season's three through five are a bit harder to find.  And none of this is helped by the fact that the show is near impossible to find on DVD.  Why doesn't this show have it's own box set yet?   I will buy each and every season if it does find its way to home media, but until then, it does have a home on the internet, and in my heart.  I invite you to experience the thrill and adventure for yourself.

Please feel free to suggest a movie or show for me to review.  Leave a comment down below about your thoughts on the show, and as always, thanks for reading.

Final Verdict: 3.5/4