Friday, July 28, 2017

REVIEW: The Emoji Movie

The Emoji Movie is about as dumb as you think it is. There. I spared you the pain of reading this full review, and hopefully, spared you the hour and a half of this stupid film. This dated, unoriginal, predictable, unfunny, product of the times.  How do you come up with a film like this? Who looks at their phones, texts whoever it is they're texting, brings up these face icons, and suddenly thinks "Hey, I can make a movie on this! A good... relevant... charming movie about text icons..." Well for those of you still reading, I might as well say it,  yes this film is as dated as it sounds. It relies on forgettable humor revolving around smartphone apps and whatever stupid jokes your kid can come up with using emoji on your phone. Along with anything the internet might find amusing. Hey, you like cute cat videos right, we got one of those in the movie! You like Spotify? It's in our movie!  Facebook? Instagram?  Is Just Dance still a thing? We're so relevant.

So what's the premise of this movie? Well... it's actually pretty creative. All your smartphone emoji live inside your smartphone, they have one sole emotion. And that's obviously what they're expressing. Happy face is happy all the time. Meh face is meh all the time. Sad face is sad all the time. Poop is...poop, and everything it says is either a poop joke or poop pun. Say for one Star Trek reference because Patrtick Stewart. You get the point. Here's the problem. This concept is actually... pretty cool. I could totally get behind a good well told story about characters limited to one emotion. I mean heck, the world they make is certainly creative enough and with the right creative thought pattern, a really brilliant movie can be made from this!

Oh wait. It exists.

You've probably heard this movie compared numerous times to Pixar's Inside Out.  And that's because this film can shamelessly rip it off to a t. And that movie, for as simple as it is, is one of the better films of recent years to really take command of such a concept and make something incredible. This film barely even tries. It's a generic outcast story, with a generic sidekick, who goes on a generic coming of age tale, while his generic parents try to find him before generic villain does, and he is involved in a generic romance and it's about as predictable as you'd think. If you've seen Inside Out, you can watch this, point to certain scenes, and say, "yup there's that scene from that good movie". They don't do anything new, or if they do, it's bland and uninteresting. But if Inside Out wasn't enough to rip off, they also manage to take elements from plenty of other films as well, like Wreck-It Ralph, and even things like The Little Mermaid. So where's the actual story come in?

Well... our phone owner is having girl problems, and since this movie thinks no one uses actual words anymore, he relies on emoji to try and express himself. But he uses our main emoji, a malfunctioning meh face and it sends his phone haywire. Chaos ensues. And its up to our hero emoji to try and fix his glitch before phone owner goes and gets his smartphone erased at the store.  Here's the problem. This films message. It's dull. Might as well say "emojis make your world go round, use them more". At the end of the film when boy phone owner and girl phone owner get together, she says she likes how expressive he is... after using emoji. Sorry girl, you're in for disappointment if you think emoji are what you gotta use to express yourself. The guy is still socially awkward and shy. But hey he's got one radical emoji! I guess everything's okay. I wanna say more. I really do. But... I just can't...

Have I mentioned how trendy this film is? I can't remember. Have I? Because it won't have a very long life. I don't care what the target audience is. If you liked this film at all, it won't last. Guarantee you'll forget about this film before too long. This film is a product of the times and nothing more. It won't age well, it won't ever know the word "timeless", and it won't ever be worth more than five dollars in the bargain bin. I can't even recommend it for the young young viewers because frankly, there just wasn't much going on in this film. The theater I was in was eerily quiet in laughter. Because the humor was very dull. Why does Hollywood seem to think that these trend or fad films can succeed?  If the Emoji Movie doesn't serve as one of the many nails in the coffin for these films, I don't know what will.

I'm having a hard time properly describing this film. Maybe because I think this is the first corporate film I've ever really experienced. A film I knew I wouldn't like. And yes, I made the mistake is looking at reviews prior to watching it, but I don't think it would matter. This film just doesn't have any life. I'll be surprised if anyone is on the theater watching it next week. There's nothing worth noting to go back to. Nothing at all. I'm struggling to give this a rating because I just don't have the proper words to describe how dumbfounded I am. Am I losing the ability to critique these films? I don't know. But what I do know is that this movie sucks, and it's getting no mercy from me.

The Emoji Movie is a monument to look up at when it comes to dated pieces of garbage in Hollywood. Similar to films like The Lorax, Sing, or other films desperately trying to stay relevant. These are films doomed to failure. The thing that separates those movie from this however, is that those films had at least some saving graces. The Emoji Movie lacks any of that. Laughter was scarce. The animation isn't impressive. The music is what you expect to hear on your mainstream radio stations. This should very much be Exhibit A on the definition of a dated film. The fact that it had to go to other better films for its life blood is just insulting to its audience, that I can't help it. I'm going to give it the lowest of the low. It deserves it. I don't care if it didn't piss me off as much as other films have. It didn't give me one reason to try and convince me that it could have had any potential at all. Shame on this movie.  It gets one big frowny face.

Am I being too harsh? Will some kids like it? I'm sure they will. Just do me a favor. Show them Inside Out first. They may thank you one day.

Please feel free to request any film you'd like to see me tackle in the near future. Leave a comment down below on your own thoughts to the film. And as always, thanks for reading.

Final Verdict: 0/4

Thursday, July 20, 2017

REVIEW: Dunkirk

Dunkirk is easily the best WWII film I've seen since Saving Private Ryan. It is full of some of the best tension I've personally ever encountered in film. I'm actually kinda struggling to give this the right words to describe this film, but I will say right off the bat that this is, in my eyes, a very strong contender for best picture, 2017. It's that good. 

Right off the bat, this film feels refreshing as this film doesn't take place in the latter half of the war. Dunkirk takes place during the title Battle of Dunkirk, when Nazi Germany has all but conquered France, and is on the verge of driving the allied forces out of mainland Europe, as threatening to invade Britain. It takes place when we're on the losing side of the war. America isn't even in the picture. And the film doesn't take long to get us into the action. It'll maybe even make you jump at how quick it can be. Now it does need to be said that the storytelling part of this film did take a while for me to catch on. Dunkirk doesn't tell one story, it effectively tells three in a very clever way. It tells the story from the perspective of ground, sea, and air. And each perspective is told within a certain movie-time zone. What I mean by this is that the story from the ground takes place over the course of a week. The sea, over the course of a day. And air, an hour. And the film will jump from story to story, so you'll need to pay attention, or you could get lost pretty quickly. But if you ask me, there's plenty of detail to connect the dots.

Dunkirk is very light on its dialogue. There are very few degrees that revolve around soldiers talking. This can result in characters not exactly being memorable, but ironically, it doesn't hurt this film, because the tense atmosphere and detail to the setting tells this story spot on. There is plenty of action, and this is just one of those rare examples in which a lot of action helps the story. And the action can get so tense. While not nearly as brutal or gory as Saving Private Ryan, Dunkirk has a much more tense approach. You can cut the strong emotion of each scene with a butter knife. You will be feeling the tension all two hours in your seat. Despite the simplicity in the film's score, I must give props to it because it only adds to the tension of this film ten times over.

And that brings me to a praise I've never done in a review. The sound design of this film is absolutely phenomenal. From gunshots, to bombs, to the environment, to the planes (those Jericho Trumpets sound terrifying), the deep rumbles... please listen to me when I say this. IMAX THIS MOVIE. Your theater will not go a minute without rumbling. The sound in this film is just... practically flawless. Huge kudos from me there. 

I'm praising this film a lot, because honestly, I can't find too much to hey on this film about as far as problems are comcerned. And the relative few that I have like the characters who aren't too memorable, just don't really do much to hurt this film. The one thing that hindered me was the story jumping all over the place. But even that doesn't do too much to the film because when you get the hang of how this movie tells its story, and when you do start connecting the dots to what's happening and when it's happening, you're treated to just... one of the best films of the year.

With the simplicity of this film, my review may seem kinda on the short end. But I guarantee you that if you like WWII films, this will be one of the best you'll ever see.  Despite it taking place in some of the darkest hours of the world, it still managed to be uplifting, and downright emotional. At the very end of the film, I was shedding a few tears. I love it when a movie will give me such a reaction. It's been a while since I've had such a pleasure to see such a strong movie. It delivered on so many levels that I didn't expect at all, and it deserves all the praise it gets.

It is for this reason and more that Dunkirk gets the fullest rating I can give, the strong four star rating out of four. Ok ever of the absolute best films I've seen in years, and I will be astonished if its not in consideration for picture of the year. Despite a few moves they did that don't blur the line between reality and movie, Dunkirk is just too good to nitpick. It aimed at such a simple concept I feel, and crafted an incredible masterpiece that I won't soon forget. And I do hope you'll all experience it for yourself.

Please feel free to voice your thoughts and opinions on the movie down below. Leave a comment requesting a movie you yourself would like to see my thoughts on. And as always, thanks for reading.

Final Verdict: 4/4

Monday, July 10, 2017

REVIEW: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spider-Man: Homecoming is...a Spider-Man movie. What more needs to be said? Fans of the marvel Cinematic Universe have been begging for him to cook be over from Sony, and after a strong introduction in Captain America: Civil War, he's finally got a proper film of his own in the cinematic universe that is Marvel. And... it's fun. What now so I need to say? It's probably one of the most comic- friendly adaptations of the superhero that I've yet seen. And it's getting a lot of praise... maybe a little too much praise. Maybe that's my conservative mindset talking, but I'm not too sure I wanna flat out call this the best Spider-Man ever. Because despite it getting a lot right, there are a few things that bug me on this one (No pun intended).

Before I get into anything critical, let's highlight what I thought worked in the film. Spider-Man. I can't deny, the comic spirit of this young, witty Spider-Man is indeed present in the film. As much as I enjoy Tobey Maguire in the older films, he's not exactly the biggest... smart-ass that Spider-Man is. And since I have yet to see any of the films with Andrew Garfield, I'm not entirely sure if the spirit was captured there. And from what I can tell, the fans are pretty split with that reboot that got shut down. And you can definitely tell that Tom Holland is having a lot of fun with this role. I daresay that Spider-Man may have finally found its near perfect portrayal. He's both geeky, and a smart-ass.

I also gotta gotta give props to the action. When people are hit hard in this movie, I could feel it in my seat. Spider-Man takes plenty of hard knocks in this, and by the time the film ends, I'm sitting there, wondering how he's managed to stand up. It's quick, it's smooth, and a lot of fun. Some of these fights were so incredibly fun to watch, particularly the ferry fight, which does a neat callback to Spider-Man 2. And I might as well say it, Iron Man's role is pretty fitting for the film. I was kinda scared he'd be one of those show-stealers, but I gotta admit, it's a very fitting role for him. And when he's involved in the action, as limited as it is, it doesn't detract in any way.

I also kinda appreciate how this isn't an origins story. With a great trilogy already showing that, and a cancelled reboot also showing how Spider-Man came to be, Marvel put some thought into this film, and decided, hey, we're not idiots. We know how Spider-Man came to be. So they stent to give us a fun story which of course ties into the big Marvel cinematic universe. Unfortunately... in the same retrospect, this is where problems start to show up. While some will argue that it's good that this movie doesn't go all out in introducing Spider-Man to us, I honestly don't think they did enough of an interesting story here.

Yes, we're all happy that it's not just some big sky laser destroying the world, and whatnot, and that the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is indeed dealing with a rather local problem, but the problem here is that I honestly don't really see this story as all that memorable. The story is just about Spider-Man thwarting the illegal thefts and sales of weapons developed from alien technology. That's it. We couldn't... up the ante just a little here?  And it doesn't help that almost no characters we're familiar with in the Spider-Man canon appear here. It's literally just Peter Parker, and his aunt. The love interest is generic, we don't see Norman Osborn, even MJ isn't introduced by name until the very end of the film. Despite her actually drifting around in the film. Which brings me to my next problem. The villain

This film is exhibit A for me right now in terms of the classic argument of marvel villains not being so memorable. And conning from a Spider-Man film, that's inexcusable. This is a universe that includes the Green Goblin, Venom, Doc Oc... Some of the most iconic villains Marvel has at its disposal. And we get...Birdman I guess? Seriously, who is that guy? Some of the villains I've listed I daresay have that same elite status as comic book villains from things like Batman and Superman. Marvel right now has Loki, and Thanos. That's it. While I personally enjoy the villains from the other movies, particularly Guardians of the Galaxy, most will say that Marvel villains are pretty weak as far as iconic status is concerned. What could have been a great way to turn that argument around, sadly isn't taken advantage of here. Instead, we have the first Marvel villain that has yet to really make any impression on me in the least bit. The movie tries to pull a fast one on us as far as who he is and whatnot, but I saw it coming a mile away. I wasn't surprised at all.

And on a more personal gripe, I don't like Aunt May here. Maybe I still have my nostalgia goggles on from the early 2000's, but my fear from Civil War has been realized. Aunt May is nothing but a running joke. How so? In Civil War, Iron Man played creep, and made a bunch of "Your Aunt is hot" jokes that I just didn't find that funny. I had a fear it would be this running gag, and some people toss me, "Oh she's barely in the movie. Shut up. You don't know what they might do with her." Fair enough. We got a Spider-Man movie now. And the jokes just kept coming. If it was from Tony Stark alone, I'd probably be more okay with it as he's that Casanova we know him as, but it comes up multiple times, from different people. Can you see why I'm more prone to liking Aunt May from the original trilogy? She had more of a purpose in those films for Peter. Here... she's just comic relief. And not exactly very funny. So... yeah. I saw it coming, and I didn't care for it. If you laugh at it, all the more power to you.

I know I'm kinda harping, but truth is, the film is very much a lot of fun. One thing I'm not giving the story proper credit for is that this story does indeed flesh Spider-Man out. Peter finds out what it means to be the Spider-Man, without a rehash of another "Great power, great responsibility" story. Granted, it isn't the best, but it's still very well told. It does lead to some very strong development from Spider-Man, and I actually really liked how he had to find his true inner strength without his fancy suit. I daresay it's the strongest element of this movie, and while I'm sure diehards would have liked more of that classic Spider-Man formula we're all used to at this point, I don't think anyone will complain too much that they executed the film in this manner.

Spider-Man: Homecoming earns a three star rating out of four. While certainly not the best superhero film I've ever seen, the praise it's getting can be argued in its case. It's a good strong opening for Spider-Man in the cinematic universe that shows off a lot of potential, and promise for future films that are indeed coming. It has me wanting more from the cinematic universe in all the right ways. And coming from a guy who started off not really caring too much about these films in the first place, I think that's high praise in and of itself.

Please feel free to request a film you'd like to see my thoughts on. Leave a comment down before of your own thoughts on the film of you wish. And as always, thanks for reading.

Final Verdict: 3/4