REVIEW: Bolt

Well, I'm excited for Star Trek Beyond tomorrow, but right now, I'm on kind of a Disney/Animated movie kick, and today, I came across a lone copy of a movie I haven't seen in a long time. And when I did watch it, it was in bits and pieces in French Class in High School.  I couldn't remember much about it, but hey, having been watching a lot of Disney's recent animated films lately, such as Wreck-It Ralph, and Big Hero 6, both good films, and of course this year, we had Zootopia, which I absolutely adored (Part of me actually wants to do a second review of it, or a followup of a sort, but for now I'll hold off), I decided to pick this up, and give it a much needed second viewing. I'd not picked it up before and I'll. be honest why...the name Miley Cyrus turned me off.  I'm no fan of hers, but I guess I shouldn't let a name be the sole reason I close the door on a movie...unless that name is Michael Bay. Because screw that guy.

Bolt is...well...Bolt is cute. What can I say? From the opening scene, you are treated to this absolutely adorable puppy in the pet store, which is being swarmed by all sorts of other cute little puppies, and he's getting battered around as he plays with this silly carrot toy, and it's just one big giant fluffball of adorableness that is impossible not to like. At first I thought this was going to be a story similar to that of the Ugly Duckling or something, but right off the bat, we see our white puppy picked up and adopted by a litle girl, and I then predict that it'll be one of those tales about a girl and her dog.  And it kinda is, but not nearly in the way that I predicted. Straight out of nowhere we get this plot that is as if another movie just trainwrecked its way into this one, and the little white dog, now named Bolt is enhanced with incredible powers, and his owner, a girl named Penny, is playing Spy Kid, as she looks for her father, and fights off hordes and hordes of goons under some forgettable man with a green eye (the guy doesn't even have a name), with the aide of her puppy of steel, who is pretty much the dog version of Superman. Does this sound crazy yet? I knew you'd say yes, and if Disney actually did this, I'd be scratching my head.

While all of what I just wrote is true, the thing is, that this whole superdog, spy kid thing is just a big TV show.  However, Bolt thinks that the TV show, is actually a real thing, because the prodcers have come up with a clever idea, though I will say highly improbable, to keep him isolated from the real world, so that as they film him, he isn't acting so much, as he is working. So basically what they did on 1998's "The Truman Show" only with a dog instead of a person.  But with low ratings, and the need for a fresh story, they decide that in the show, Penny will end up kidnapped. Which is a bit of a mistake because Bolt flips out, and in his fear of losing her, knocks himself out and is accidentally shipped off halway across the country.  From there he meets a cat he mistakes as a cat of the green-eyed man, and decides that she will help him get back to where Penny is.  From there, it pretty much becomes "The Incredible Journey", minus one dog, and adding on a Hamster who joins them later on.

The setup and concept of this film is comedy-gold, with a hint of Plato's Cave (for those of you who enjoy a little philosophy). I'm a huge fan for comedy that involves misunderstanding, and with Bolt (who is excellently voiced by John Travolta) having never been introduced to the world outside the studio he knows, there are plenty of chances at this happening, which are executed brilliantly.  I absolutely love how he fears styrofoam packing peanuts, as he feels they make his powers incredibly weak.  Watching the cat hold him up with it is worth the laugh. Also the Pidgeons of this film are easily one of the best things of the film, always recognizing Bolt, and acting as rabid fans, brimming with ideas, or whatnot. Bolt's interaction with the real world, while still under the impression that he's still living the actual show is absolutely well executed, though I will say there are times I felt a little more could have been done. For example, when we're introduced to a hamster who watches Bolt's show, and sees him as the real superdog, almost immediately afterward, Bolt is told the harsh truth about him being part of a TV show. And is thus, revealed to the light outside the cave. How does he react?  Well of course he tries to deny everything, but reality hurts and the film does a good job of portraying him as he slowly comes to terms with it.

And though his coming to terms with it is also maybe a little rushed, I gotta say that sequences that follow, in which Mittens teaches Bolt how to be a dog, are some of the cutest moments of the film.  I had a good laugh when Bolt first stuck his head out a window of a moving car. It's these little moments that can just carry this film in ways I normally wouldn't think possible. It can be funny, and at times, it had some genuine heart-touching moments.  The ending of tis movie is one of the warmest Disney endings I've seen in a long time. I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but I will say that it can tug a bit at the heart-strings. It's one of those movies, but what more can you expect from a film about a girl and her dog, and how that dog will go through mud and water to get her back?

Bolt earns a nice three and a half star rating out of four.  Yes, despite the occassional clunky narrative, this film is coherent and tells a very fun story.  It's fun, warm, surprisingly action-packed (and it's very well done action), and just one of the best movies I can think of that tackles the special bond a human and a pet can share. It's one of those films I can legitly say "I laughed, I cried" to. And from my understanding, it was one of the first films to come out recently, to really give Disney a kick in the rear with the success it's found lately.  With other films to follow such as Tangled, Frozen, Big Hero 6, Zootopia...etc all coming out lately, to a lot of acclaim, I can't help but wonder if we're in the middle of yet another DIsney Renaissance.  I would certainly welcome one in a period where almost everything else Disney is doing is either Marvel, Star Wars, or remakes. Disney is showing some very strong ground in their animation department lately, and this was a good way to start it off. So don't be like me.  Don't let a simple name turn you off to this movie if you've let it.  It's one fun adventure...it's a fireball of cute.  See for yourself.

Please feel free to request any movie you'd wish for me to review, and I will do my best to get to it. Leave a comment down below expressing your own thoughts of the film, and as always, thanks for reading.

Final Verdict: 3.5/4

THROWBACK REVIEW: Battlefield Earth

For a while I've been wondering about how I wanted to go about reviewing this film. Should it be special, should it be under a certain circumstance, well screw it.  I'm just gonna review it because I want to. You all likely know of Battlefield Earth, and it's legacy as being known as one of the worst films to have ever been made, but after sitting through it twice now, I kinda gotta wonder...is there some element of likable charm to it?  If you've never heard of this film, well where have you been?  I guess it kinda fell out of the loop after it crashed and burned back in 2000, but from what I can gather, it still has quite the legacy, and a lot of people still have a bad taste in their mouth.  Heck for all I know, you might be one of the many who has a bad taste in their mouth, and are only here to make sure I tear it a new one.  What can I say?  I think the film's a riot.

Now that's not to say the film isn't bad.  It was poorly received for good reason.  Tere's a lot to talk about as far as the film faults go, from hammy acting, to shoddy camera work, to some simply bizarre or awkward shots, to plot devices are are an understatement to call coincidental, the faults of Battlefield Earth outweigh any rights it has...and honestly, I'm not sure if it even has any rights.  Well, I think I can come up with a few, I will say that the environment of a post apocalyptic alien taken over world is pretty decently designed. The dome that the Psychlos (yeah...that's the name of the alien race) build is actually pretty cool to look at. And I won't deny...I wouldn't mind tasting that bright lime green drink that they call Kerbango. Serve me one of those in one of those weird glasses! I guess one final thing I can say toward the movies credit is that the film score isn't bad at all. There are times the music does shine through. 

But honestly, there's not much else I can say as far as the good in this film, because...it's so very very...bad. When compared to other films I've seen that I absolutely despise or hate such as Last Airbander, Freddy Got Fingered, or anything else in my movie career that I've seen and walked out enraged on, Battlefield Earth just didn't infuriate me.  Because it's so very entertaining in all its glorious badness.  When it comes to most bad movies, there are two types of actors that tend to get the most of my attention; the actors that are bored out of their minds (such as the majority of Last Airbender), or the actors who simply have no idea what they're doing (such as Troll 2). Now there are other types of actors, those who put their heart and soul into it, but in bad movies, these tend to fall flat on their face, such as in Freddy Got Fingered.  But here in Battlefield Earth, almost each and every actor puts their all into this performance, as silly as it is...and it's impossible not to get a laugh out of. This movie has some of the most laughably cheesy lines I've ever heard.  From lines like "But there's a bright side! One day, you're going to die, and when you got to hell, it'll at least be a step up from this pace!" To Travolta's infamous "spell your name" line.  I cannot help but laugh.

The writing behind the story is actually halfway decent as far as setting up the story is concerned.  It's the actual telling of the story where it falls flat on its face. Earth has been under Psychlos rule for 1000 years, and man is an endangered species.  Our story centers on what I can only imagine is a character made soley on wish-fulfillment.  This movie is based off the novel of the same name by L. Ron Hubbard (though if the movie has anything to do with Scientology, I can't connect the dots), so there might be a small trace of author insertion.  Further research into the protagonist only strengthens that claim.  I mean the middle name of this guy is literally called "Goodboy". Throughout the film, he's constantly praised as humanity's last hope, and how the love of his life (who literally serves little purpose in this film) always knew that his destiny was to drive the Psychlos away from Earth.  These are characters that by the book, I despise.  There's barely anything interesting about him.  He's just the teacher's pet chosen by Terl to learn things, and it's by this select process that he is educated in the silly way that he is, and becomes the only hope for humanity.  His dialogue is clichéd and just all around silly at times.

But if that wasn't enough, the way he fights the Psychlos in this movie can be laughable if not plain stupid.  There's a hose scene in the movie near the beginning that serves little purpose at all.  Might as well have just cut it out, because it's such an awkward scene, where Jonnie literally fights Psychlos with a firehose. No joke.  But that's nothing, try Jonnie leading the resistance against the Psychlos using...military technology that's centuries old.  And it all works just fine. Yeah, never mind maintanence on fighter jets, or 1000 year old jet fuel, it's a "piece of cake" to train these men who haven't held a gun in their life to fly fighter jets in two weeks.  Two...weeks.... But if that's not silly enough, you got the whole Psychlo atmosphere reacting violently to radiation plot device.  Things could not have been simpler for our rat-brained man-animal group who manage to simply beam a nuclear bomb from Earth to the Psychlo's home world. Which upon detonating, destroys the entire planet. Can you see why this story is so dumb? One nuclear bomb is enough to destroy the ENTIRE atmosphere of the Psychlo home planet?  Eh, screw it.  

There are so many things wrong with Battlefield Earth, that I don't know if I should discuss them all here in this review.  From the overuse of Dutch angles, to the overall stupidity of the Psychlo aliens which is probably what makes them lose in this film to begin with, but honestly....I don't know why I should.  Everyone knows it's a fundamentally bad film, and I'm probably only repeating what countless other critics have said, but there's something about Battlefield Earth specifically that sets it apart from other bad movies.  The heart it has.  I've never before seen a film where everyone on board puts their all, their spirit, their heart into doing everything right, only to have the entire thing crash on top of them.  I'm actually thouroughly impressed by that standard.  The performances are impossible not to laugh at, the story is so dumb, it's impossible not to see for yourself just how dumb it can get, I almost wanna say just how much I very much recommend it. It's balancing perfectly on the "so bad that it's good" line. I cannot in my right mind condemn this film as the worst of the worst when it did so much, so right.  I mean that too.  There are a lot of things that I feel are actually done right in this film, which is why it's so funny to see just how it crashed.  This film needed a lot of tweaking, but there's plenty to enjoy for what it's worth.

Battlefield Earth earns a well earned one star rating out of four.  By all accounts I should hate this movie.  By all accounts it could have easily earned a half star rating, or even the lowest rating I could give with absolutely no stars at all.  All the ingredients are there, but there's enough spice in this silly mess to warrant a better score.  I cannot bring myself to hate it.  There's just too much of that likable charm, that numerous performance, that silly story that I really wanna just say "go find a copy if you can and see for yourself". Heck I got mine on eBay for three bucks. But I do realize that this film was hyped up by Travolta himself to be on the same lines of Pulp Fiction or Star Wars.  He really built this film up as far as the hype was concerned...so I can imagine people being pretty angry with this film for letting them down as it did, but for me personally, it's just a dumb silly movie, with a dumb sci-fi story and dumb sci-fi action.  It doesn't do any harm, and left me with a little smile on my face, even if it was for a different reason than most. 

Please feel free to make a suggestion for a film I should review.  Leave a comment down below telling me your own thoughts on the movie, and as always, thanks for reading.

Final Verdict: 1/4

Hope you all enjoyed my brief intermission from the Star Trek reviews and enjoyed a little blast to the past as I discussed this silly movie....or not. Time to tackle the Next Generation films!